A Day in the Life of
by TamChronin
Summary: The first arc from the POV of the cards. Why did the cards do what they did? What really happened behind the scenes? Want to know? Please R&R!
1. Windy

Windy 

Cerberus was snoring **again**.

Most of the other cards didn't mind too much, but I think that was because most of them had been left further down in the book.  I was stuck as the top card and when Cerberus started snoring I was the one who heard it the loudest.

I poked my sister, Watery, in the back, trying to wake her up enough for her to threaten the Guardian Beast.

"Honestly, Windy, why don't you just ask Silent to shut him up?"  Watery rolled over again and added a few snores out of spite.

Hrumph.

She has obviously never tried to ask Silent to do anything.  If you wake Silent for any reason she gets peevish and tries to send you away.  I can understand doing that to humans, but a fellow card?  It was rude.

Then a thought struck me.  The next potential candidate for our master/mistress already possessed the cards.  Everything was in place and ready, otherwise Yue wouldn't have left already.  (Another event that Cerberus and most of the other cards had slept through.  Jeez!  Was I the only one that paid attention to **anything**?)

I turned to my best friend, Fly.  "Want to see something…interesting?"

The bird arched an eyebrow at me.  "Cerberus will bite your head off if you try anything."

"He's been fast asleep and snoring in my ear for **ages**!  Besides, if he does then I won't have to listen to that awful noise any more!  Ugh!"

"Sure, sure, let's see what you have in mind."

I grinned and used a tiny bit of my power to amplify the horrible snoring sound…and directed it right at the daughter.  I could now tell that she was home alone and would be scared out of her wits by the strange sound.  Fly and I giggled.

The daughter of course came to investigate, and she found the book easily.  I stopped amplifying the snores as soon as she was in view, but she had found the book anyway.  I realized that I may have messed things up…wasn't the son supposed to be the new master?  I couldn't remember.

Still, there were ways that this might work out.  I kept my fingers crossed.  The girl looked at the seal and it popped open.  Oh no.  If this wasn't how it was meant to be I would be in a lot of trouble.  Yue and Cerberus would give me the death glare…and that may not seem like much to some, but I was a delicate soul.  Especially when it came to Yue.  Maybe the girl would grow up to be really pretty, she would fall in love with Yue and he would fall in love with her and he'd forgive me.

Like that would happen.

Then the girl grabbed me and began sounding out my name.  I shrugged.  It sounded like an invocation to me!  I winked one last time at Fly and then released my power.  Within seconds the book was empty and all the other cards were scattered who knows where.  Those selfish brats were probably still asleep anyway.  They'd wake up Clow only knows where and be all alone without Windy to protect them from the huge horrible noises of the world.  I was tired of being a buffer so Silent could get her "beauty sleep" anyway.  

I tried to blow myself away too, but the girl had a death grip on me!  I thought she would bend my card permanently!  How embarrassing that would have been!

Cerberus woke up.  Well, no, he was woken up by the power of Clow's book actually.  Picked up by the base of the wings and then set down roughly.  It was what he deserved for snoring in my ear all this time.

I listened to Cerberus and the new mistress, Sakura, talk for a bit.  Yes, he accepted her without question.  She had opened the seal after all, and that seemed to be enough magic for him.  I rolled my eyes…that stuffed toy wannabe was so lazy!

I decided to shrug it off though.  It wasn't my problem anymore unless the Mistress asked me to do something.  For the first time ever I had the book all to myself.  It was quiet.  It was peaceful.  I had room to stretch out if I wanted.

I fell into the best sleep ever, and that's all that matters about that day, really.


	2. Shadow

The Shadow

Kicked out by Windy, huh? That airhead was going to do a lot of explaining, and I planned on being the first one to hear what she had to say for herself. Well, after her accomplice, Fly, that is. If Fly hadn't been in on it she'd have at least known…those two had been best friends from the day Clow set ink to paper to make Fly's form.

So I stuck around, sneaky little shadow that I am. I noticed a couple of others hanging back, but I had a plan. Hehehe!!!

I followed Cerberus's candidate around for a while and found that she went to school. Excellent! I watched her the whole day, and I couldn't think of anything more _boring_ to do with all those daylight hours! The students weren't even allowed to sleep!

And I hatched my plan.

First, I sort of _borrowed_ the shadows of the other students. I mean, who looks at their own shadows that late in the day anyway? Right? They were too busy going home to notice at all, and I couldn't blame them.

That night I killed two birds with one stone.

I had some fun rearranging things and doing the students the favor of giving them something better to do while calling attention to myself.

And then I got bored and had a little too much fun. And then some. Around dawn I remembered that these were little kids, _good_ and _innocent_ little kids from the looks of them, and ran around for an hour erasing blackboards.

For some reasons the kids weren't very happy to have classes canceled. Jeez. You'd think they'd be thankful to be up and moving around instead of sitting still and listening to the drone of the teacher all day. Okay, well, they were stuck cleaning. That wasn't exactly my favorite thing to do either. But I'd rather do that than _homework!_

Oh. Wait. The teachers assigned homework anyway. How stupid was that?

Now I was mad. I didn't care about the girl, Cerberus's candidate, after I realized this fact. This was war. This wasn't fair to the kids.

I was going to get retribution.

Again I borrowed the shadows of the students for this. The first thing I did was unplug every appliance in the teacher's lounge. Except the microwave. Then I popped some popcorn. I shared the popcorn with the other shadows. We had a popcorn party. Er, that wasn't part of the plan, it actually just happened.

I mean, who imagined something as wonderful as microwavable popcorn? Certainly not me in all that time in the book! Wow!

I heard a car pull up though outside. I felt the presence of the candidate coming closer. I dropped the popcorn where I was and sent the other shadows to wreck havoc. I had never been caught goofing off before! Wasn't going to happen this time.

First, I caught her attention. (Throwing a statue is one of my _favorite_ ways of subtly catching someone's attention--and that's about what it took to get Master Clow's attention back in the day....)

They stood, or in the case of Cerberus floated, and stared, mumbling about not knowing who I was. So I threw the statue again. **That** finally got their attention.

Then I proceeded with the taunts. This was the fun part. Not enough that she couldn't stop me, but just enough to make her sweat.

Of course, this girl was so inexperienced that I wasn't sure she'd be able to catch me even then. I considered sending the other shadows I had gathered away for more popcorn when she brought out Windy. This was a game I had played so many times before…hide the Shadow from the Windy. She honestly can't tell me from an enchanted shadow. She grasped bits of nothing while I wormed my way free, laughing silently.

The girl got the idea and pulled out Fly, trying to escape. Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, now was it? I wanted to be caught so that I could rib the other two and grill them for gossip! Of course, if I didn't fight hard enough--or at all--they would be teasing **me**. That was not an option.

Then I did the unthinkable and previously forbidden. I tugged on the staff while she tried to fly away. I was ecstatic at my daring! Take that Mr. Clow can-dish-it-out-but-not-take-it Reed! Finally, since I was free, I could play fair!

I was about to let go on my own and watch her flip when...someone turned on the lights. All of them. Ruined my prank by **making** me let go. Now they'd never believe that I had come up with that idea.

I walked off and sulked for a moment, then decided to surrender. So, here I was, walking toward the girl of my own free will--and she sics Windy on me again. This had started out as a good might what with the popcorn and all, but now? Not. I couldn't even surrender while lurching ominously closer across a darkened basketball court without being forcefully nabbed.

"Gotcha," my card sister taunted quietly as she bound me.

"As if I didn't want to be caught," I growled back, drowned out by the incantation of the Card Captor. "Now if you don't mind, that's my cue." I dissipated, slipping into the cramped but comfortable card form.

And waited to be placed in the book.

Sure enough, when I was explaining what happened--

"And then I flipped you but good, little Miss Feathers!"

"Did not," she fluted. "Mistress's best friend turned on the lights."

Dammit!

Author's Note:

Thank you everyone!!! I am SO sorry I took so long to write this. I am TERRIBLE at comedy...but I'm trying! I will be updating with Watery and her jealousy issues SOON, so don't lose hope! Wish me luck!

Specific thanks go to Cora Joy (my awesome bestest friend in the whole wide world!!!), Dr. Megalomania (I worship your fanfics! You rock! You rule! Don't kill me for taking so long!), Atomic Chainsaw, Emerald May, Crayon, Peacewish (I LOVE your K/T fic!!! Everybody should read that...Kaho gets a bad rap too many times and she was a huge help to Touya when he needed!), and Stacy. Your reviews have pushed me to remove this from the back burner and get my butt in gear! Thank you again!


	3. Watery

__

WARNING: Spoilers for the end of the first arc! If you don't know Yukito's little secret, stop reading, watch the rest of the show, and COME BACK! Thank you. (Does anyone NOT know any more? ~shrugs~)

Watery

So this is what a penguin is. Huh. I'd always wanted to see one up close.

I turned it over, circled it, held it still while I looked as close as I could. Teehee. It was a **boy** penguin. That silly trainer wasn't a boy. I almost forgot about holding on to her, so she managed to struggle to the surface.

Did she really think she could get away though? I almost laughed. 

Teehee. I remembered. Master Clow was a boy too. Found that one out when I was lounging in the tub one day. Found out too that Master Clow had made Yue a boy. I've never recovered from that sight.

Hmmm, what was I saying? Oh yes. The penguin. And the trainer. I still had her underwater with me. And some annoying brat was banging on the glass of the tank. Between the trainer and the girl I was getting annoyed.

And then a handsome boy with **power** showed up and used his magic to gently pry me apart. He stole my penguin! How the frilly _heck???_

~~~~~another day~~~~~

I kept an eye on that boy. A careful eye. Instead of serving penguin food he was now serving people food. Would Clow smite me from beyond if I wondered what the real difference was? I felt an evil grin coming on.

I gave in to the desire easily.

And then? I felt a more powerful pull of magic. I **knew** who that was, as sure as I knew I was Watery. The love of my life, the desire of my heart, even if he looked different, I knew that it was Yue.

And he was on a date with that **girl!** The one who had given me a headache. I looked at her closer and saw the aura of power surrounding her. She had other cards. She had the Key.

I pounded on the glass. "Yue! Yue, that's the GIRL!"

He ignored me.

"Yue! That girl is the card captor! Aren't you supposed to be judging her as unworthy or something? Hey!"

I pounded on the glass a little and it cracked. I sighed. That wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to get his attention.

Well, I did right up until Yue started flirting with that **boy!** The one that stole **my** penguin. Ooohhh, that one got me mad. Abandoning me for the Master was one thing, but to abandon my centuries of devotion over some unknown boy with some untrained magic?

**__**

UNFORGIVABLE!!!

"Yue! You stop flirting with that KID and look at me! Now!" I was pounding frantically this time.

He kept not looking at me. He talked to the little card captor, smiling and dropping hints about what to do. To capture me. Me! Of all cards! He was giving subtle hints about how to catch me, like I was some sort of common card that she could just grab and use.

I was furious now.

I shattered that glass, lunging at the little girl with all my strength. This time I held **her** under, glaring at Yue. "I will not be ignored! Do you hear me?"

And then I heard it, that uttering on the spiritual plane that most people can't hear. It was one of Master's favorite sayings; one of those things that he always said to me teasingly before ordering me to disperse.

__

Water is a thing that flows. It was usually followed by a gentle chuckle.

This time it was followed by the thumping of an ax against a wooden door.

Ah crap!

Sure enough, I flowed...and flowed right away from the girl.

~~~~~@~~~~~

I went downstairs to the basement to sulk. Snubbed. Again. It was almost like the bathtub incident, but this time I couldn't just return to card form.

Yue was just so mean to me. All the time.

And I was in the middle of this sulk when the card captor girl showed up again to challenge me.

Hrumph. Nobody appreciates the value of a good sulk anymore.

So when I went up to "politely" (for me) see what she wanted, she ran in fear. Well, of course she ran in fear. Who was she fooling? She couldn't beat me! Not with the cards she had. I laughed as I chased her, working off some of my frustration.

She flew all over the place, and I just chased after her. Heck, it was almost fun.

Not that I'd ever admit that out loud of course. I have my soft spots, but none of them include little girls with huge green eyes and soft brown hair who just happen to be cuter than should be humanly possible and can best me at my own game. Never. Not in a million years.

Until she got me in the freezer and shut me in with Windy. Frimpin' goody-goody.

"Hey Win. 'Sup?"

"You never change, do you?"

"What's that supposed to mean, sis?"

"Watery, my dear, what did Master Clow do when you walked in on him and Yue in the bathtub?"

"What? Don't tell me **everyone** knows that story?"

"Yep."

"He created the Freeze card...."

"And what do you suppose I'm doing in here?"

"You're going to make the air that much colder so I freeze in my tracks and let the new Mistress catch me."

"Yep. Notice a recurring theme here?"

"I have **no** idea what you're talking about," I lied, glaring.

"They're both telling you to chill out."

"That's bad Win."

"I know. And just think, you'll get to hear the rest of my bad jokes over and over and over...."

"This is for all those times I didn't help you get Cerberus to stop snoring, isn't it."

"You know it sis!"

Crap.

With that last happy thought I was frozen in my tracks.

Author's note:

The Wood is up next. What could possibly inspire the mild-mannered Wood to tear apart Sakura's house? If you've seen the episode you know _who_ is behind it--but the real question is _WHY???_

Tune in next episode....

Thank you, my dear reviewers. To Peacewish, Magical Wings, Atom Bunny, Six Underground, Youko Duet, Stacy Janice Elton, and Bunny-chan I send out many thanks and happy thoughts for each of you. It's awesome that my only comedy bit hasn't bombed--yet. ~grins~ Lovings go out to ALL my dear readers, even if you're not brave enough to review. Glad I could add a little something silly to your day!


	4. Wood

Wood

"C'mon Clow, gimme five more minutes..."

I rolled over and went back to sleep, pulling the course and heavy blanked up over my shoulders. It was only cleaning day after all. I was no good at that stuff. That's what Erase and Bubbles were for.

I was pulled roughly out of bed. Put on a desk. I stubbornly refused to wake up. I could smell the cleaning going on around me, sense it like a caged animal that would spring if I showed any signs of waking. I'm a peace-loving card. I stubbornly refused to wake up.

I was good at that.

And at least I didn't snore.

I drifted further into sleep.

__

Drip.

Drip.

Drops of water were landing on my card.

I pouted, trying to squirm away.

__

Drip.

Drip.

Drop drip.

Drop.

I finally looked up, changing form.

It was raining. I heard a familiar giggle.

Oh dear Clow not HER!

"Heya Treestump! You miss me?"

"Rain. Of course. What did I do to deserve this?"

"Aaawww, you sound like you're not happy to see me!"

I sighed, resigning myself to being awake for the nonce. "What do you want?"

"We're going to play a game."

"No we're not," I said stubbornly.

"Sure, sure, 'cause you know you'll lose."

"No, I won't. It's because you're a poor sport when _you_ lose."

"But, but, but, you OWE me!"

"No I don't."

"Yes you do!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Last cleaning day, when Master was looking for you, and I did all your chores for you and you said you owed me BIG TIME!"

"I did not use the words 'big time' at all. I just said I was in your debt."

She smiled angelically and I knew we were in for some fun. I mean trouble. Trouble. We were in for some trouble. "It's okay, I think my game would be too hard for you anyway. You don't have the subtlety or finesse for this game."

"Don't even START with me on that one!"

"It's true! You are like a bull in a china shop! You just grow and grow and grow--I don't even know why Master created such a clumsy and lazy card."

"You're in for it now! I am going to catch you in my branches, and then I'm going to tickle you!"

"Wait!!!"

"Why should I? You've challenged me, prepare to face me, Rain." I flexed threateningly.

"No, no no no no! I have something in mind! A challenge!"

"What kind?"

"Grow through the whole house, seek out a window or other access to sunlight UPSTAIRS, without breaking the house. Second level too, no fair peeking out the living room or something simple like that. Just because we're in the basement doesn't mean everything qualifies as upstairs."

"Piece of cake."

"While I water you."

"Uh."

"And you have to keep growing, at least a little bit, until the new card captor girl captures one of us."

"Oh."

"What's the matter, scared?"

"Me? Never."

"You get extra points if you can get Cerberus or the girl in a compromising position. Double points if you get 'em both!"

"Ooohhh, you're on!"

~~~~~@~~~~~

We hammered out some more rules waiting for the girl to come back. Rain explained that it was her own fault anyway--she left us free on a desk after she found us, then left the house. Any mischief we caused we could not be held accountable for, even by Cerberus and Yue.

Finally Rain got tired of waiting. "Ready or not, here I flow!"

I giggled, shifting to true tree form. (a/n: Do not try saying that at home, I disclaim all responsibility for injuries resulting in the attempt of uttering that tongue twister. Thank you.)

I had nearly filled the basement by the time she got back. I knew for a fact that my magical aura must have been nearly overpowering, but I hadn't been able to get to any of the rest of the house yet! I started growing faster and faster and realized at the last second that the stupid basement door was closed!

Rain sat by the door, appraising my situation. "Remember, you have to keep growing...."

"Shut up and open the door!"

"Sorry, that's against the rules."

"What?"

"If I help you, you lose!"

I just groaned, pressing against the ceiling. I had been so careful, not knocking over a single bookshelf or anything! I was going to lose by breaking down the stupid door.

I tried to make a hand out of branches to open it myself, and I almost had it too, but Rain kept raining on me, making it hard to control the small things. I just kept growing! Finally I had some branches I could control, and just as I was reaching over to open the door--

"HHHHOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Something opened the door and screamed at me!

"Keep growing!" Rain taunted as I jumped back.

I pushed forward a little, realizing it was just the card captor and Cerberus--and they slammed the door on me! They cut off one of my poor branches!!!

"OUCHIEEEE!!!!!!"

The energy quickly reabsorbed into me once I remembered to let that branch lose shape.

Rain just giggled.

I pushed against the door, but they were leaning against it on the other side. I pushed...and pushed...and pushed some more while Rain kept pouring down, forcing me to grow faster and faster and faster. I finally managed to push my way out, opening the door, and I grabbed on to Cerberus as he hovered.

"I got him!"

Rain cursed.

"Eep! I've got her too," I shouted in triumph as I snaked a branch around her ankle.

"Sure, sure, rub it in. Extra points for a compromising position, remember."

I laughed. "The doorbell just rang. I'll bet I can get them out there in front of whoever is visiting!"

"Ooohhh, good one!"

I pushed them on out, Cerberus pretending to be a stuffed animal. I picked up the girl, turning her upside down and dragging her over toward the door.

"Did it! Can I take a break now?"

Rain giggled. "A little one...if you think that's such a good idea."

I rested, panting. I hadn't grown that fast in _centuries_. I overheard the girl and her friend, Sakura and Tomoyo, talking in the hall. Tomoyo had freed Sakura and Cerberus from my branches while I paused. I was about to push forward to shoot some branches upstairs, toward my goal of sunlight, when Sakura, that girl who hoped to be our mistress, decided to seal me.

Damn it, I didn't reach any windows at all yet!

"What's the matter?" Rain looked at me, noticing the glow tracing its way down my branches.

"She's sealing me! I haven't gotten outside yet!"

"She won't get you that easily," Rain vowed with a cute little wicked gleam in her eye. "We're just having fun! But this means I win."

I gasped, stopping the glow from taking my entire form. Only a few branches had been zapped, but my main body was too far away. "Dern...skippy...I will not...be gotten...that easy! And you haven't won yet!" I finally won, keeping most of my original structure. I shot Rain a triumphant grin, then went full speed ahead with the growth. I raced upstairs, terrifying everyone in my path. I ended up chasing the girls and the guardian upstairs and out on the balcony where Cerberus had hung the laundry earlier.

"Ha! Leaves! I win! I made it out!"

"You haven't won yet. Remember, this is the fun part. You have to keep growing since I'm still watering you, but you can't destroy the house."

Oh. That's right. I struggled to contain my growth while Sakura and company made their painfully slow way down to the basement.

"Ooohhh...stop raining on me Rain, it's starting to get painful!"

"If I stop, I win. Besides, we can't stop now. What would Cerberus say? What would the girl think?"

I groaned, pressing against the ceiling in a room and felt a shower of plaster dust fall. Not good, not good, not good.

"Rain!!!"

She didn't answer me. The trio had finally shown up.

I couldn't shrink as long as Rain still had form, but she finally wasn't raining directly on me and I could slow down. I sighed in relief and watched as Sakura finally chased Rain down and ended the bet.

I won.

"Cerberus! You finally showed up! It was all Rain's fault I swear."

He answered me in the Card language, smiling in understanding. "Another game, Wood? How many does that make?"

"I don't even want to think about it. Yell at me later?"

"Sure, sure. Gonna come peacefully?"

"Yes! Tell the girl to relax?"

He asked Sakura to wait, and I relaxed into my avatar form. No more spreading out all over the place, no more unbearable growth. Sakura and I smiled, I showed off for the camera, and I finally got to finish that nap.

Author's Note: Readers! You guys are awesome! How can I thank you enough for brightening my day every time I get a review? I totally don't think I'm funny, but I try.

Yes, I will be trying to get a chapter in for every card. Some chapters will be shorter than others. And I will be doing something with Rain here soon. What? The episode is already over and has been covered? I know that, silly. Not every card will summarize an episode...hehehe.

So, without further ado, my list of favorite people! Yay!!! Give a round of applause to these people--without them I just might not write this story anymore. Thank you AtomBunny, AtomClone, Youko Duet, Peacewish, Wolfy, Dweeby-Wan Kenobi (yes, my real life brother), L-chan, and Kira. I agree with Peacewish that this is more corny than funny, all of it, but as long as I've made someone laugh and kept the edge of depression at bay for myself, this story has done its job. =)


	5. Rain

Rain

"I just got through talking to Wood."

I looked at Mamma Watery and gave her a huge and adorable grin. "Okay. That's nice."

"Don't you want to know what she said about yesterday's trouble?"

"That we had a lot of fun playing a really cool game?" I batted my eyes and put some effort into looking even more sweet and innocent than usual.

"You know you shouldn't taunt Wood. We've had this talk before about bets and dares."

"But that was before! With stuffy old Master Clow!" I protested.

She glared at me. Actually glared. Do you have any idea how scary it is when Mamma Watery glares? She gets this throbbing vein in her forehead and the fangs in her mouth look like a vampire's and her eyes get all kinds of intense and she's just **_scary!!!_**

"That is more reason why you should not have done that. It's one thing to mess with the candidate chosen by Cerberus, but it is something else entirely to make another card do your bidding. By manipulation or any other means. That is the master's power, or the power of the guardians. We have a chain of command here."

"Oh no, not the chain of command speech again...."

I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Tired of the speech, huh?"

She was acting too nice, but I didn't get it yet.

"I've only heard it a thousand times. It gets old after a hundred."

She smiled, and that was even scarier than the glare for some reason I couldn't put my finger on.

"Yet you still do the same thing to poor Wood after all these years. Maybe you need a different lesson?"

"Uh, that's not what I meant! I mean, I was just playing a game!"

I backed away, and then tore off running. Only, Mamma Watery runs a heck of a lot faster.

And when she spanks, she hits **hard**.

Some of us were sitting around later...well, standing in my case...when Wood looked over at me with a sweet smile. "Wanna play a game of truth or dare?"

I'm sure my scream could be heard from a mile away as I launched myself at my nemesis. "Wood! You die now! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!"

Just another day in the life of Rain....

Author's Note: I know, I know. Short. Not all that good either. I'm tired. Some chapters will be longer than others, but I will be posting them all. Every single card. I swear. Promise, cross my heart. Eventually. LOL!

So, thank you all for reading, and thank you especially to my reviewers. Atom Bunny, Peacewish, Matrix, Youko Duet, Litwolf689, Kira, Hotaru Yukishiro Tomoe Kamiya, Ryouga, and XiaoBai, thank you all one and all for the awesome reviews! You guys rock!


	6. Jump

Jump

Boingy

Boingy

Boingy

Do you know why I love stuffed animals? They are just _so much **fun!!!**_

Bouncy, fluffy, soft, and a heck of a lot lighter than magicians.

That's why I was so happy with my new house. In fact, Maki-san was so awesome that her whole front room was one big display for all her toys. I was in love with her home! That's why I decided to move in after all.

Boingy

Boingy

Boingy

But, people kept stealing her toys! All my favorite stuffed animals kept disappearing and that made me sad. And angry. I would track them down when I could, and sometimes they took a stuffed animal I was sleeping in at the time, so I got most of them back.

Still, even after we moved and got a new home people started taking my toys. And my panda toy too! My favoritest in the whole wide universe!

I was SO mad!

Boingy

Boingy

Boingy

Then, one particularly brazen thief came along and had even stolen Cerberus and forced her to help steal toys! My toys!

She was looking for something specific though, with the help of Cerberus in toy form. He looked so cute like that!

Wait, I mean...aw heck. I already said it. Clow had a wonderful sense of humor, and turning Cerberus into something so cute was wonderful! And a heck of a lot less intimidating for cute cards like me!

But she grabbed me by the ears, and that rat Cerberus TOLD! He told on me when I tried to pretend to be just another stuffed animal!

So, I grabbed my legions of stuffed animals and ran for it. Follow me, little toy creatures! My friends, run away with me and be free!

Except--she was too fast! She ran and caught up with us. Some of my toy friends volunteered to sacrifice themselves and pelted her for me while I jumped to safety so I could liberate my toy friends some other day. She grabbed me, and I jumped as hard as I ever had before.

Up

Up

Up

And then I jumped right out of her arms to let her fall.

Well, it didn't hurt her. The thief had my sister card, Fly. Stole my siblings **and** the guardian! She was going to get it when Yue caught up with her!

So, when she landed I bounced circles around her, trying to confuse her. But...she send Wood after me.

"Let me free, sister, let me free!"

"Don't be silly, Jump. She's the new Card Captor. Kero-chan appointed her to catch us all and be our Mistress if Yue approves."

Wood had covered me in a cage of branches, so I started jumping around, looking for her weak point. "That thief brainwashed you? Freedom! Freedom I say!"

"You're just as melodramatic as always, aren't you?"

I jumped harder, getting desperate. "Help me! Set me free!"

She sighed and was about to say something else when I found her weak spot. I bounced right out of there and knew that this was the final showdown. I had to face this little thief girl down, once and for all.

"Stuffed animal friends, legions crying to be free! Heed my call! Come to me!" I gathered masses of toys and made them into a gigantic version of myself.

Now I could stomp on the thief and end her rule of tyranny!

She knew she was doomed. She ran before me, terrified of my awesome power!

And and and...oops! Too many toys to keep track of! Balance! Balance! No! It was...too much! I fell over, toppled by the weight of my legions of allies. Since I was where the brain had to be, I fell a LONG way down. I hit my head and became very dazed.

And that cute little thief caught me. Captured me.

And stole my heart.

Oh well, at least she's much lighter than Clow was. And cuter too. And sweeter. And some day Kero-chan will forgive me for thinking that the Great Guardian Beast of the Seal could ever be stolen by a little girl.

Author's Note: Here it is! Jump! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did, it was loads of fun. It took a bit to figure out the angle I wanted to go for on this, but I hope the wait was worth it...since it really was only a few days and not a few months like between the first chapter and the second! LOL Illusion is next. How will I do it? I have not a clue....

So, to my reviewers, THANK YOU! Stacy J. Elton, XiaoBai, Azi, Youko Duet, Kira, Litwolf689, and Jing-chan, it was wonderful that you reviewed even for my awkward attempt with Rain, so I hope this one is more of a treat for you. I'm pretty happy with it, and I hope all of you are too! 


	7. Illusion

Illusion

It's not like I **enjoy** scaring the heck out of little girls.

Wait, no, yes I do.

But that wasn't the point of hiding out in the park like that!

Wait, no, yes it was.

I was waiting in the wooded area of the park, ready to pounce on anybody foolish enough to come close. That was one of the reasons Clow created me actually. To scare people away. Or to distract them. I was the harmless alternative to other magical attacks or defenses. I won't go into other uses he found for me.

Not that I'm actually harmless. If I became an illusion of solid ground over a pit of spikes I could be quite deadly.

I was really just hanging out though, getting practice. I didn't want to lose my edge since I hadn't been used in centuries. Some of these girls got scared of the silliest things, but they gave me some wonderful ideas.

I've been doing this for a while, since we were all scattered. Now though, one girl came back as if obsessed with scary things.

I was prepared to give her my all by appearing at the scariest time of the day, as soon as her mind wandered to something truly terrifying.

I realized too late that she had brought friends.

So, instead, I became many things, all more terrifying than the last.

A beautiful woman with long hair...wait, that shouldn't have been scary. Oh. A ghost? Someone she knew?

I shrugged and moved on to the next.

Next I was blurry and pointy eared...scary, but still not enough.

I eagerly awaited the next imagination to touch me.

The girl that kept coming back saw me as being round, with one huge baleful eye staring at her. Ooohhh...getting there!

What was next?

Pink? Er...okay, not a scary color, but she saw me with a huge mouth and fangs. _That_ was suitably horrifying.

The next girl _had_ to have the image of something terrible. Horrible. Disfigured maybe? I mean, she was scared into shock obviously--she was too scared to even change her expression.

Yes, the image was huge! Flesh colored…or bread colored?

Bread?

This wasn't right.

I was covered in bread.

I was...a really big nikuman?

She was scared of food? Wait a minute!

This was _so_ not right. She wasn't scared at all, she was just hungry!

I had failed.

I was a failure.

I was food.

I was suddenly depressed. I sighed and went off to sulk.

Okay, bring on the card captor. I was ready to go back to the book and ask the other cards what I had done wrong.

And if the card captor got scared in the process, all the better, right? Right!

Author's Notes:

Who has the best reviewers on earth? I do! You guys are all great! Wonderful!

Yes, I didn't finish the episode. I'm aware of this. That's because...Fly is next! Finally!

So, thank you to Atom Bunny, Kira, Peacewish, L-chan, Youko Duet, Litwolf689, CCSROX, and Hotaru Kamiya. You guys are awesome and each review means the world to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter and the next ones. Some will be funnier than others...there's only so much I can do with some of these cards! So, thank you for reading!


	8. Fly

Fly

I know, I know, you expected to hear from me a while ago. But...better late than never.

I mean, I could have told you about being caught. But, that is being done to death by my brothers and sisters and...er...other types of siblings.

I want to tell you about saving the day instead!

So, to entertain everyone, here is the Epic Ballad of the Fly!

Fly, this is THE AUTHOR speaking. 

Huh? Excuse me, I'm busy lifting my autobiography to the podium.

Fly, no one came here to read an epic ballad of anything. We know you save the day a lot.

Okay, who is this? Who's the joker? I don't believe in Author. I am the master of this fic, I am the captain of my chapter!

~AUTHOR smites Fly~ They just want to know about the end of the incident with Illusion. 

That boring old thing?

Okay, fine.

Blah blah blah, Sakura got tricked by Illusion twice...blah blah blah, The Mistress didn't call on me the first time, but somehow floated down safely into the arms of another...blah blah blah. She finally called on me the second time and I flew her to safety. She finally realized who she could depend on! Me! And she's called on me faithfully ever since!

Uh...sure. Okay. Do we have issues? Are you...in love with Sakura or something? 

What???

Me???

I mean, sure, I spend a lot of time between her l--

DON'T GO THERE!!! Ick! She's just a little girl! 

Oh, sure, to you. But in bird years she's an adult.

~AUTHOR stares~ I am SO not going there. 

Oh, sure Ms. Smarty-pants. You're the one that wouldn't let me read the epic.

If you're harboring thoughts like that for sweet and innocent little Sakura, I don't think I want to hear any poetry you'd have to write about her. 

Oh.

I am SO thankful for third season Fly now...gack. ~AUTHOR runs away and takes the end of this fic with her~ On to the Author's Note: 

Wait! I wasn't done!

You are now, pervert. 

Author's Note: You will never watch a CCS episode the same way again. ~snickers~ I'm just evil like that.

THANK YOU!!! All those reviews have given me some total warm fuzzies! I hope you all like my next chapter too, since I'm posting it right after this. ~evil grin~ And, if you don't, I'll be back in usual form with the next chapter after that. Promise! So, super huge hugs to my reviewers on the last chapter: Bunny-chan, Stacy J. Elton, Crystal Star, Kira, Peacewish, Matrix, L-chan, Youko Duet, and Atom Bunny. You have all made this story a success! I wouldn't be writing without you! ~bows~


	9. Silent

Silent

Shhhh....

Author's note: Well, that was boring and pointless, ne?

Silent: Shhhh....

~Tam disappears~

~Tam sneaks back in~

It also wasn't very original of me eith--

Silent: Shhhh....

~Tam disappears~

~Tam sneaks back in~

~whispers~ Sorry, I just wanted to say--

Silent: Shhhh....

~Tam disappears~

~Tam sneaks back in~

~Tam holds up a sign~

Sign: So, thank you to everybody who reads this! I really appreciate it! Especially to my reviewers:

~Tam drops sign on her foot~

Ouchie!!!

Silent: Shhhh....

~Tam disappears~

Ah, forget it! See you next time!


	10. Thunder

Thunder

I walked around, waiting. I was the ultimate hunter. I had to be careful to not overpower the puny little girl that was chosen by The Beast. O, great and terrible Beast of the Seal...I shall overpower him yet. Some day. It is my goal...eventually. Not today.

Today I was testing the waters. Watching the girl.

She had a rival. How cute.

How quaint.

I stepped closer. Would this rival, this descendant of Master Clow, would this boy get in my way? I needed to study my hero, my own rival. I needed to be closer to Cerberus so I could study his methods and learn! No one would get in my way.

Like a streak of light--wait, no, AS a streak of light I circled closer and closer to the girl and her best friend. I needed to scope them out, test their resolve.

Their resolve was nonexistent.

They cowered like...like...well, like a couple of little girls!

I stalked off, irritated. If they screamed and hid when I was just _looking_ at them....

I was never going to study him at this rate. For countless decades I had studied his snores until I fell into a mindless stupor as well. Now that he was awake and actively guarding again, I wanted to see him in action!

But it would not happen with this scared child cowering at my lowest growls.

~~~~~@~~~~~

I called my challenge to her rival, then called my challenge to her from afar. Maybe if she could not see me, maybe if she thought only of protecting the innocents, maybe then she could catch me. Maybe if she thought her rival would take me for his own she would be inspired to face me herself.

They arrived.

I tried to hold myself back. I threatened. I howled. I charged and backed away, then charged again.

It was the boy who pulled me into my true form.

From there I continued to threaten, but I restrained myself. She had to get me. She had to.

And finally, after listening to my unworthy opponent cry and be lectured at by her rival, I was finally turned into card form. I flew as fast as I could to the girl's hand.

~~~~~@~~~~~

"Thunder! Thunder! Thunder Card! HO!!!"

Rain, Watery, and Jump stood there, laughing at me.

"Do NOT do that EVER again!"

I, the proud and powerful Thunder Card, was being laughed at by these brats. Inferior cards except for Watery, but she just had issues. And they kept laughing.

It was actually Watery who hushed them with some whispers and sharp looks. I was not fooled as she walked over and the other two hung back. They were still in listening range, trying not to smile.

I growled a little, but curiosity held me in check. What did Watery have in mind?

"You know, you should have gone to the boy. He did more of the work than Mistress Sakura."

I glared. "And your point is?"

"You're obsessed, Thunder."

"My eternal search for a worthy opponent is a _healthy_ obsession."

"I'll be sure to tell _Kero-chan_ that you no longer find him worthy." And she snickered.

"You just do not understand."

"Oh, learn to chill out and watch some television with our guardian plushie."

Yes, the other two were snickering as well.

I can only be pushed and taunted so far after all.

I turned on them. All of them. My hackles were raised and my eyes flashed dangerously. I made their hair stand on end as I gathered the power of electricity to me to do my bidding. Then I did my worst.

I opened my mouth and almost...almost...I could see they expected a roar and had steeled themselves against my wrath.

Instead they got:

"Grr. Argh."

I stalked away, smirking. They would never understand the bond I had with my hero and rival.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: Yes, yes, references to an old favorite and a current favorite. Back in 6th grade when Thundercats was new it was a favorite. ~grins~ And I'm an avid Buffy watcher. Not so much Angel, but I do like it and watch it when I remember. Buffy is way better. ~shrugs~ Let me explain. Willow. 'Nuff said. (Yes, I love Marvel comics too...jeez, how many other things can I fit in here?)

So, to those who stuck with me even after the silly madness that was Fly...THANK YOU!!! That includes: Youko Duet, Peacewish, AtomBunny, S. K., L-chan, Kira, Milkyway Lynx, XiaoBai, Ripchick2002, and Jing-chan. Yay!!! I'm glad I've been able to keep you all entertained. The Sword is next...tune in next time to see if The Great Tam Chronin can really write ALL the cards. 'Till next time!


	11. Sword

Sword

I was swift and sure.

Sleek.

I was one of Clow's most prized cards.

More intimidating than The Watery at the height of PMS.

I was a symbol of power and skill, transferring deadly ability to any who dared to wield me.

And I was currently pinned to the shirt of a little girl.

Of all the ways to wake up suddenly! Ugh! I don't even _like_ girls....

__

Do stop snickering at that one. I didn't mean it like that. I'm genderless, how could I mean it like that. Jeez.... I just meant--

Well, girls are boring. They don't like melee combat. They don't appreciate the subtle finesse it takes to

~~ANNOUNCEMENT: We interrupt this fic due to the large number of fangirls with a thing for swords now picketing the fic...including the author, who has been fascinated with swords for over 50% of her life. Excuse me while I beat--er--_talk_ some sense into the "star" of this story.

(The sound of a roaring fire, bellows, and the clanging of steel are heard in the background, followed by a long silence. Followed by the sound of ripping paper...)

We now return you to the fic, already in progress.~~

I still don't like _little_ girls, and this one looked like she played with dolls and wouldn't imagine wearing a suit of armor. Same with her two friends.

Oh, dear CLOW! That girlie little girl across from me was trying to collect the cards? I looked at her aura again and again as I took control of her friend's body, trying to make sure.

Yes, that girl wanted to be _my_ master.

Granted, she would need all the help I could give her, but...jeez. As long as she didn't put me in dresses or tie ribbons to me or find some way to force make-up on me. I was very thankful suddenly that Clow had NOT chosen to personify me. I did not want to think of what kind of girlie girl he would have drawn me as if my simple form as a pure sword had not been beautiful enough for his tastes. Simple perfection, that is me.

Soon the girl's mind was set aside, overwhelmed by the sheer power of my cutting personality. (I'm quite intimidating to the average person, especially when they think I'm a simple ornament...the element of surprise is a wonderful thing.)

Now was the time to scare away the little girl who wanted to be my master.

I attacked with a fierce determination, looking intimidating enough to make her think I'd kill her. She ran, screaming, too scared to think of a way to fight back.

Good.

She even ran outside where I felt less restraint. I could really show my power here. There were cement walls and metal posts that I could slice neatly in half out here instead of just drywall and wood frame. Do you have any idea how _boring_ it is to slice through such things? Jeez, any piece of metal with a good edge could cut through those kinds of materials. Well, I did it better than any other blade, but only someone who knew my worth would understand that. I wanted something no one would expect. I wanted to show my _power!_

And, granted, I may have gotten a little carried away. I was just so happy to be attacking again that I may have gotten a little over-zealous with my attack. I couldn't help it! The girl just sat there, scared and holding her eyes tightly shut and crouching with the sealing staff held as if it would help her against me.

It might have actually...that was some powerful magic and I wasn't sure I wanted to see what would happen if I sliced it in two.

Luckily we didn't find out because a _boy_ saved her, halting my path with another sword. Another magical sword. Inferior to me, to be sure, but it was a _sword!_ See what I mean about girls not appreciating--

~~ANNOUNCEMENT PART TWO: We regret the necessity to pause the story yet again while I rearrange the structure of the mysoginistic sword card and--

(screams are heard from the background, "You can't do this to me! I am magical!!! Clow Reed made me and no inferior little girl is gonna--HELP!!! Please! In the name of Clow and the guardians, stop this torture now!!!")

I think he's ready to behave again.~~

He? Hrumph. I'm genderless, thank you very little.

Anyway, I was about to engage in the ultimate fulfillment of my purpose, a genuine sword fight, when the little girl pulled my opponent away. I felt the presence of that silly little Jump card and realized that the girl had the advantage of mobility over me. Maybe she *does* know a few things about fighting...like when to run in the face of superiority.

I stalked her, daring her to show again and get between me and a good fight. That's when the Card Mistress showed her secret strength. Cunning. My weakness was my host...and her love. A man stood before us, the epitome of all things wonderful according to the heart of the girl I had taken over. She couldn't attack him. She just couldn't. She was in love with this man and as she smiled at him I was warmed by the glow of her heart.

How had he gotten there, standing there at just the right time to stop--

I realized the trick, saw the Illusion card for what it was, but it was a moment too late. I was being knocked away from my host's hand, and without a person to guide my skill was useless.

All my power and ability, all my skill and agility, was defeated in the end.

Defeated by superior strategy and the power of love.

As I slipped into card form I wondered...would this really be so bad? I'd have the opportunity at least to show this girl the merits of having a sword--no, not just a sword, but the best sword magic could create! I could convert her from her girlie ways and teach her a thing or two about combat!

How often did an opportunity like this come along?

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note: Yeah, weird personality. ~nods, nods~ This one was so *hard*! And, if you've seen A Bug's Live, I was thinking of the walking stick (I can't remember his name!!!) from that when I finally got an idea of what to write. Not that the personality is the same or anything...just that's what finally got me to start writing.

Please forgive me for this chapter. I don't know what possessed me to write it like this! I hope it was amusing though. So, thank you Kira, Peacewish (the Marvel reference was 'Nuff said...Stan Lee says it all the time. Now I feel like such a nerd. LOL), Atom (I understand about being into other fandoms, no worries...though I'd never abandon my CCS! Hehehe), XiaoBai, Youko Duet, Jing-chan, Odd World (Yes! Yay for insanity!), Six Underground, and CCSROX. Sorry I kept you all waiting so long!

Flower shouldn't take me as long. So, keep your eyes open for it! (The more reviews I get the faster I'm inclined to write by the way....) Ja ne!


	12. Flower

Flower

__

Smile.

I remembered his kind voice over the years. He told me to smile, and the world would smile with me.

Oh, he was wrong of course. Just look at Yue. I could surround him in a sweet scented embrace for the rest of eternity, but he would never smile.

Clow just loved smiles I guess.

So do I...so do I...

The truth was, I was lonely. I missed the other cards. I really did. They might not realize it, but they probably missed me as well.

Really they did.

I was the life of every party after all, and the joy of every heart.

Oh, sure I heard when they called me a flighty ditz behind my back, but what would it be like without me?

So, I looked around, waiting for something fun and exciting to happen. It took a while. Finally though, there was a school. With a track and field festival. I hung out a while, making sure it was a groovy scene. There were a couple of crazy cats with some bad vibes out to harsh my mellow, but I knew how to deal with that.

Wait, I mean, it was a cool place. Some people were in a grouchy mood, but I had a plan. A good plan. (Not a groovy plan. Bad Flower! Must keep the idiom straight.)

So, I headed up to the highest point and began my dance. It was a dance of joy for all the happy things in this world and what is happier than the pure petals of happy flowers?

Happy flowers in a happy field all glowing under a happy sun. What be more groovy. Er, totally awesome. Gnarly?

Oh shoot, I'm doing it again. I mean, I totally know I was, like, never subjected to the total ignominy of being dubbed, but once in a while....

Once in a while....

Yeah. I pick up on the funky accent of "Madison" and totally make it, like, a billion times more heinous.

Bummer, huh?

(Oh well, at least I'm not suffering from "Ruby Moon" syndrome like Fly. I *know* I'm female, thank you. I don't change my mind every few chapters.)

Eeep!

Okay, so, there I was on the roof of the school, dancing and shooting flower petals off like fireworks. I got a little lost in the dance, totally losing track of time...and flower output. So, up comes the card captor, a girl named after my favorite flowers. Yes, I play favorites, especially when my magic depends on her.

So, I'm all like totally thinking that she wants to get down and loosen up with some cool moves. We're dancing, floating on air in a happy dance that would make anyone glow, and I hear her friend talking on the phone to Mr. Sunshine. Though, he didn't sound happy. He was either interrupted in the middle of a totally tubular game, or was bingeing from a munchie attack as usual. It couldn't have been a nap because we all know he wouldn't wake up from sleep for something like a phone call.

Well, in the middle of the dancing Sakura pulled out the sealing staff. So much fun, I was going to go home!

Of course, Sakura was utterly flabbergasted by the sunny smile that spread across my face, but that didn't stop her from sealing my form into that of a card...as it should be.

That was just, like, so totally rad.

So, then, the real bummer of it all was when I was put with the other cards and Fly started going on at me. He was just all, like, "Dude, you so totally blew it! I mean, all those people were _so_ drowning in those flowers, I can not _believe_ how deep you let it all get. You're gonna get it!"

So, I was all, "Chill! Peace out, man, can't you see I have my mellow on?"

And then he was like--

((Fly would like to take this moment to point out that he, she, or it does NOT talk like that. Thank you.))

Oh, right, yeah.

So, it all came out okay in the end is all I meant to say. I came home to my friends, the other cards greeted me with open arms, and we all lived happily ever after. (-ish)

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's note: It's short and it took me a long time. Sorry. I've got a better angle on the Shield card. This is HARD! I knew some of these cards would be difficult, but wow! ~gets dizzy~

So, don't kill me please! I know this chapter isn't all that great. It's not bad, but it's not great. ~sweatdrops~

Right, anyway, I get to give out thanks and explanations now. Okay, Odd World, I didn't exactly use the Walking Stick thing...it was more like the part of the movie kept running through my head. "Clang clang, swish swish." ~snickers~ That's all. Oracle, I am a VERY flawed author when it comes to this. I don't really take this one seriously because I use it as a release--and I KNOW I'm not good at comedy. ~hides~ Thanks for pointing out my mistake, and I hope what I put in this chapter doesn't seem TOO forced as an explanation. To everybody else: AtomBunny, Kira, Peacewish, L-chan, Youko Duet, Tyger and Darkdracofire, FrEaKyMe, and Lady Moon. Thanks for giving this fic a chance! I appreciate all reviews and if I can bring a smile to your faces, my life has served a higher purpose. What greater gift can we give than to inspire even a moment of joy in another human being?

(Yes, I'm a little more somber than usual. I needed a bit of a joy break after recent tragic events. I'm sure I'm not the only one.)


	13. Shield

Shield

Clow was MUCH more fun to guard than these stupid flowers.  And what the heck is up with the eraser?  ~sigh~  I mean, I've guarded some pretty strange things in my time, but a cute little bunny eraser?  It was even in a little hand-sewn pocket.

Strange girl.

Strange _family._

Then again, maybe Clow and the guardians weren't a perfect example of family.

I mean, this one time (at band camp.) (shut it, you) (no! it's a line guaranteed to get laughs!) (it's getting old) (it's a classic!) (who is telling this story?) (aaaw, man!).

As I was saying, there was one time when Clow put Cerberus on a diet.  It didn't last long.  I was sent to guard the cookies while Lock held the cupboard.  Now that was a scary assignment.  I have never been drooled on, threatened, blasted, purred at, insulted, bribed, or scratched more!  And that was just the first ten minutes.

Then there was the time Clow went out with his other sorcerer friends and tried to play Quidditch.  ~shudders~  I got to shield what was most important to him.  You can IMAGINE where I was.

Well, if you can't imagine, I'll just say that Yue was a jealous guardian for that game.

Yes, yes, you can imagine that my life was much more interesting before.

I never knew what would happen next.

Now, I've been sitting around this box for a week.  What am I guarding this time?  A bouquet of cherry blossoms and an eraser.

Once in a while they stick a key in me and I get to see how far across the room I can make it bounce.  Goody.

I almost got the mom in the eye a few days ago!

Somehow it seems rather anticlimactic after saving Clow's family jewels from a bludger.

Let me tell you, Clow was the LAST boy you wanted on your team playing Beater.  Trust me on this.  It was just a bad idea from the start.

Well, okay, there were the usual battles against dragons and other mages and the like.  Your standard shield and sword type stuff.  Those were okay I guess.  Nothing creative.

Clow tried to get me to guard the library from Yue once.  Birthday present.

Yue isn't a very good actor.

Clow went through the rest of the cards that day and figured out, very carefully which one could and could not be turned to the whim of each guardian.  I was never again asked to keep something from Yue.  Yue never got a sneak peek at a present after that.

But now, I'm sitting here around a box with flowers and an eraser.

Key.

Bounce.

Laugh.

Sigh.

"Mother, may I invite Sakura over tomorrow?"

"Of course!  That's a splendid idea!  Hurry now, you don't want to be late for school."

Wait...isn't Sakura the name of the Card Captor?

Huzzah!  I'm saved!

Oh, wait.  The girl said tomorrow.

I have to sit in this tedium for another day?  Oh the humanity!

Card Captor, take me away!

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note:  Short update, I know.  Sorry!

Hey, *you* try to come up with a good concept for making Shield funny.  ~moans~

Time is next!  I don't know when I'll post it though.  My inspiration on this one comes in fits and starts.  Please forgive me for all the time it sometimes takes for me to update this story!  I'm just not very confident when it comes to humor.  ^^;;

Now, I *do* want to thank my reviewers.  All of you.  Kira, Lady Moon, Peacewish, Tyger and Darkdracofire, XiaoBai, Tokemi, Tica, ClowSword Wielder, and Sweet Sugarpie3.  My muse loves reviews more than chocolate, and that's saying something!  Oh, by the way...ClowSword Wielder...I want to let you know that it all depends on how the name is translated.  Cerberus, Keroberus, and Keroberos are *all* acceptable translations.  Also, I'm very aware of all of the cards.  I purchased a deck over a year ago.  I also have the entire first season of CCS on DVD, so I know what order they were captured in.  I plan on getting to all of the cards eventually.  Thank you.

Keep reviewing!


	14. Time

Time

Once upon a time, there was a card.  A really bored card.  And my name...er, the card's name was (coincidentally) Time.

Oh, who am I fooling?  I don't want to sit on this stool and tell this stupid story.  My arthritis is acting up, and my eyes aren't what they used to be, so why don't you just make something fun up, missy?

(8 months later)

Oh, some great writer you are.  Can't even come up with something interesting for me to have done in all this time.

(That's not the point!  This is supposed to be a day in *your* life!  How am I supposed to write a day in your life when you won't even talk to me?)

Sounds like a personal problem to me, young lady.

Oh, all right.  Turn off the waterworks and I'll talk.  Happy?

(Yes, ojiisan*.)

Now, what were we talking about again?

(What?  I told you the first time we talked--)

Ah, well, that was quite a while ago, and I'm not as young as I used to be, if you know what I mean.

(I'm here to get your story about the day you were captured.)

What?  I was?  When was that?  Who did it?  How?

(That's what you're supposed to be telling me, ojiisan.)

Ah yes, it was on the savannahs of Africa, and we were on a big game hunt.  Suddenly, a lion sprang out at us, and the elephant ran into the jungle!  There I was, all alone, the safari was just starting for real.  I reached for my gun, but that's when I noticed a spear at my throat and--

(-_-  What are you talking about?)

You're the one who said I was captured.  I just thought I'd tell you an interesting story, since that's what you seemed to be after.

(I never had any of these problems with any of the other cards.)

Clearly, you haven't interviewed Sword yet.

(Oh yes I did!  And he STILL wasn't as bad as you are!)

He must be slipping in his old age.

(...whose old age?...)

Huh?  What did you say?

(Oh, nothing!  Please, go on ojiisan!  Tell me more!  It was Syaoran that actually captured you, right?)

Who's telling this story?  Me, or you?

(You are, of course.)

Than what do you mean by going on, spoiling the whole story by telling everyone that Syaoran won?  It was a fight to the death, I tell you!  Little boys against little girls, hair pulling, biting, scratching, and name-calling.  It was awful I tell you.  Simply awful.  Oh, the humanity!  You have no idea!

(Something tells me you're the one who has no idea.)

What?  I heard that!  You're making fun of me!

(I wouldn't dream of it.)

Yes, well.  Where were we?  Oh yes.  Hair pulling, scratching, biting, name-calling...rewinding, fast-forwarding, pause.  Stop.  Put another movie in.  Freeze frame.  Rewind.  Slow motion.  Pause.  Fast-forward.

(Wait a second.  Are we talking about reality here?  Or television?)

There's a difference?

(...)

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note:

That's enough for that card.  ~washes hands of the whole mess~  Can you believe I spent eight months just trying to get him to stop changing time every time I tried to talk to him again.  What a pain.

He's behind me, the senile old coot.  That means I'll be able to go on to the next card with no trouble, right?  Wish me luck.

Without further ado, I'd like to thank my reviewers.  CoraJoy, snowykittenz, S. K.-chan, ClowSword_Wielder, Atom_Bunny, moezy-chan, ccs rox, kira, Y * Sunshine, Cecelia, Lady Moon, Tokemi, Ikari Shinji-kun, Peacewish (no, Pink Floyd didn't help at all, darnit), Cyan Moon, and Silent Seraphim.  Thank you!!!  You guys all ROCK!  I'm sorry it took so long, and I will try to get the next one up ASAP!  ~bows~

*ojiisan = old man/grandfather


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